Yes, that is the question - now I have just started my second maternity leave, 4 years later we got another lovely little girl and I suddenly are back at the computer organizing my online profiles, pictures and creating blogs for my girls (private for family that will be turned into books by using blog2print)
When not occupied with work I get the energy to focus on these things, so I might start up this blog again - we'll see how it goes :) I will actually work a bit during my maternity leave this time, was planning to finish my MBA but are struggling with the motivation and find it difficult to manage self-study when the subjects are Accounting, Finance and Statistics.. they have some new online support so I might try that. Anyway, the plan is to work 20% on a new exiting project with my new job as a Consultant so that will be fun, think it will be manageable as the baby seem to be doing well and we are all adjusting to our new life quickly.
Since it is a new year and a new chapter in my life it makes sense to set up some new objectives! They need to be SMART of course ;)
1. Get fit!
- have hardly moved during my pregnancy so now it is time to get my act together, have agreed a challenge with a friend in Endomodo to do as many walks in 2016 as we can in addition hike up a mountain each month (it doesn't have to be a very high mountain;) Spesific, Measurable, Realistic, Achievable and Timebound I would say! Also want to do some Yoga, easiest is to just find something on YouTube I've found and do it when I have time.
2. Improvement projects in the house
- I have lists.. that keep on growing, but love the feeling of crossing out as I complete them. Stuff like organizing, tidying and making stuff (nitting, sewing and other crafts)
3. Develop myself
- study or work.. do training - these kind of things (not very SMART yet but you get the idea)
The Economics part has been some of the most interesting I have learned by doing the MBA I am in the process of completing. I did not think that Economics would be this much focused on how the society works, I thought it would me a more numerical subject to study, I was wrong.
Since I am interested in how the society is made up and love to discuss these things I got a book on Sociology and found that interesting, but what I read in the Economics really made sence and answered some of my questions that I have been pondering about.
Some of it I wrote about in this post - about happiness but I also wanted to summarize a bit the main points, and I am using the wonderful "Economics for Dummies" cheat sheet for this. I highly recommend everybody that are intersted in the world around them to at least read this book, easily digestible and quicker to get the big picture than to actually having to take a big MBA exam (- so glad I passed by the way!)
It is complex stuff, but some of it is very easy and logical and it really makes sense.
Ok - so the big definitions:
People have to make choices because of scarcity, the fact that they don’t have enough resources to satisfy all their wants. Economics studies how people allocate resources among alternative uses. Macroeconomics studies national economies, and microeconomics studies the behavior of individual people and individual firms. Economists assume that people work toward maximizing their utility, or happiness, and firms act to maximize profits.
The Free Market economy that is based on supply and demand "left alone" is something that is always discussed, both in America and Europe, typical "Commie" vs Republican arguments. Here are some of the problems in the Free Market:
Identifying Market Failures
Sometimes markets fail to generate the socially optimal output level of goods and services. Several prerequisites must be fulfilled before perfect competition can work properly and generate that output level. Causes of market failure include the following:
Externalities caused by incomplete or nonexistent property rights: Without full and complete property rights, markets are unable to take all the costs of production into account.
Asymmetric information: If a buyer or seller has private information that gives her an edge when negotiating a deal, the opposite party may be too suspicious for both parties to reach a mutually agreeable price. The market may collapse, with no trades being made.
Public goods: Private firms can’t make money producing certain goods or services because there’s no way to exclude nonpayers from receiving them. The government or philanthropists usually have to provide such goods or services.
Monopoly power: Monopoly power is the ability to raise prices and restrict output in order to increase profits. Both monopolies (firms that are the only sellers in their industries) and collusive oligopolies (industries with only a few firms that coordinate their activities) can possess monopoly power. Monopolies and collusive oligopolies produce less than the socially optimal output level and produce at higher costs than competitive firms.
This basically explains why sometimes we do need a bit of government intervention, the free market cannot manage everything on it is own!
Pollution is included in the first factor, a company does not have any incentive to clean up the mess they make unless they have to "pay" for it in some way, either by being taxed or owning the land they pollute, then they would take that cost into consideration and try to minimize it.
Another important one is Public goods, roads, parks, streetlight, military, police and firedepartment are not very sustainable in their own right, they don´t have a service that people are willing to pay for, because if it is there people get the benefit from it without having to pay, it is easy to be a free-loader, so we are forced to pay for these services by paying taxes.
So - a very quick intro to Economics to whoever that is interested, following in the steps of my "Lean made simple" post earlier :)
This song by Sting that I didn´t understand before I moved to the US, we are actually described as aliens in the immigration documents when we arrive here!
It also make sense the other way to understand this song, as there are so many little things that are different and that you don´t realize about yourself and your culture before you live in another country.
I actually quite like the way when I am a foreigner I have an excuse to not know how things work, I don´t have to follow all the rules, I don´t belong - both good and bad. If there is a "secret code" that you should be wearing this or having that, I can easier choose to stay outside or to be included than if I am borne and raised in one place and need to get my surroundings acceptance in a different way.
When I am an expat, I am only visiting, I am here temporarily, if things go bad it doesn´t really matter that much because I am leaving soon anyway. I have a different life elsewhere, I have at least two homes where I belong. I have people in other countries that know me and understand me, that accept me for my opinions.
This can also be a problem because choosing by being outside I dont actually need to get involved and participate for the common good, when it comes to charity or other things, I am getting the benefits but not contributing.
It also makes it easier to do bad things if you don´t belong in a society, nobody knows your granparents and can cause the shame and by that follow the rules. I belive I have read somewhere that there is a corrolation between crime and rootless kids.
What is normal is suddenly not normal anymore when you are a foreigner. Genereal accepted truths just aren´t.
It makes us more conscious of who we are and what we value.
To be fair I almost have this at the moment, we have a nice little house back home in Norway and I am working on the cottage garden feeling. And at the moment we are renting a flat here in Houston, but the problem is that Houston is not the kind of city I like, it is not excately New York.. this city is lacking life and people in the street, restaurant and cafes, what we mainly have here is a city designed for cars, large shoppingcentres and mainly suburbia. Oh well - it is ok for now.
; An Anglophile is a person who is fond of English culture or, more broadly, British culture.
I have always loved England - and that goes for Ireland and Scotland as well; the people, the sense of humor, the villages, the countryside, London, culture etc. I lived in the UK when I met my husband, so that of course added to the positive feelings towards the country, and we are often thinking about going back and visit. Not sure about living there again though, but you never know!
Some pictures to illustrate what I mean, the lovely cottage from the film "The Holiday"
And a pretty village
I have also got a strong fascination towards France and Paris especially, I have not lived there, but been several times. I have thought about maybe working there but not sure if my visualisation on how it would be is matching the reality of language troubles and byrocracy.. It is a very nice place to visit in any case - that is for sure!
A Francophile (or Gallophile) is an individual who has a strong positive predisposition or interest toward the government, culture, history, or people of France.
I was reading my Parisian Chic book, as I am thinking about what I need to update my wardrobe with, when I return to work. I want to get some classic stuff with good quality, thinking basics like Tweed blazer, blouse, pants, cashmere sweater and maybe a proper suit. Pinterest is also brilliant for this and I am especially fond of this collection that I found there:
I think I will find something in J.Crew as they seem to have nice classic stuff made of proper materials like wool, silk or cashmere. Will try to invest a bit this time instead of just buying something cheap that gets ruined quickly. Hopefully I can find what I want in the outlet here.
In the Parisian chic book I also found lots of good ideas for what to do next time I am in Paris, so many nice places and shops that I have still yet to visit! Makes me happy to think about :)
Here are some nice shops
Serendipity
Smallable
Looking forward to being back in Europe and having the opportunity to take a little weekendbreak in London or Paris! :)
I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday, a large bookstore chain with everything a book-lover could want and then some, in my local one there was no cafe unfortunately but I managed to spend quite some time there anyway.
I decided to get some Christmas-presents for my friends and their kids, books are always great gifts and they don´t take too much space in the suitcase. Win-win.
Then I´d thought I would treat myself to a glossy magazine. And off I went, there are shelfs upon shelfs with magazines, something for every taste you would think. But still. Why is it so difficult to find something that is perfect for me? I am in my thirties, new mum, likes interior, design, clothes, pretty pictures, interesting stories, technology, green/organic, business, architecture - and so on. The problem is that I have to choose! There is one magazine for fashion, or another for interior - or several actually, and they all tend to become a bit one-dimentional...
I would like a smart, interesting, women magazine that would give me what I need - do you hear me out there?
I ended up buying a magazine about Blogging - isn´t that ironic? It had the most nice and inspiring images. The blog world is where I find and "curate" my ultimate reading experience. I do understand that the world of printed text are struggeling to keep up, there are so many private bloggers that can do so much and reach out to so many people!
I guess it is the trend now, everybody is a photographer and a writer - it is so easy to do it and get it out to the world, I do feel sorry for the people who are trying to make a professional living out of it in these days..
At work I have been dealing a bit with Lean, as I work in a manufacturing company, and as a typical woman (?) I am also a bit overly excited about organizing and storage solutions. This is pretty much the same thing - so I thought I´d write a little post about that. A short intro to Lean Manufacturing is in this infograpichs here:
It mentiones that it is important to reduce all types of waste: like overproduction, motion, waiting, transportation, over-processing and defects. If you make more than you need that is a waste, if you move more than you need, (for instance running up and down the stairs to get something that could be kept in one floor), if you have to wait for others to finish something you waste your time, if you need to transport things over longer distances than necessary that is a waste, if you do something more fancy than necessary - does it have to be perfect and who really cares? And finally do it right the first time, if it doesn´t work you have to do it again and that is also a waste.
The Lean filosophy was developed in Japan: Doing more with less by employing 'lean thinking.' Lean manufacturing involves never ending efforts to eliminate or reduce 'muda' (Japanese for waste or any activity that consumes resources without adding value) in design, manufacturing, distribution, and customer service processes. Developed by the Toyota executive Taiichi Ohno (1912-90) during post-Second World War reconstructionperiod in Japan, and popularized by James P. Womack and Daniel T. Jones in their 1996 book 'Lean Thinking.' Also called lean production.
Don´t you agree that this is typical things you can find on blogs everywhere? I am not alone in loving solutions on how to get more organized, Pinterest is a great source for ideas.
Basically there are nice and fancy Japanese words in the Lean management world (Muda, Kanban, Poka-yoke and Kaizen) that goes back to what housewifes have done for 100s of years, getting their homes organized and efficient! :)
It doesn´t take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that it is more efficient to have a tidy environment, and that it is smart to have what you need, where you need it.
This is the book I am reading now, if you have read some of my previous posts you know that what I have been interested in lately is finding out what makes us happy and why our society is the way it is. I started off in January by reading some Sociology to learn more about behavioral science and the society.
Now that I have started on my MBA I am reading Economics and find this very interesting - and it is also providing me with a lot of answers and knowledge about our society. It seems so easy and straight forward when you read it in the book, but then I watch some discussions on tv in the evening it is suddenly not so easy anymore - people have very strong opinions and they differ very much! Not easy to make sense of everything but I have my core values based on my background, then add on what I learn as I go along.
I think I will make a collection here on Storify various things I find, I tend to RT a lot of articles but they just get "lost" in my feed so it would be nice to collect them somewhere. I have so far used Storify to collect some stuff on US politics and today some things about the health care reform, it is difficult to see all sides of the story, but for sure I know nothing is black or white so I try to understand it better.
Anyway - back to the book I am reading at the moment, I thought it might give me some more input on what I just learnt in my Economics book, our behavior and society is based on:
Insatiable wants (in human nature) + limited resources (fact of life) = Scarcity (what economic as a subject focus on)
So what the author of the book found out to be her happiness formula (so far in the book) was based that it is necessary to generate more positiveemotions, "Increase amount of joy, pleasure, enthusiasm, gratitude, intimacy and friendship in life. Then at the same time remove sources of bad feelings, less guilt, remorse, shame, anger, envy, boredom and irritation."
Similar to what I thought was a good advice, basically "what you focus on - grows"
Sounds quite logical but never that easy as we all know, one more thing that is important is growth itself - and I agree that this one is very important, we always want to get somewhere else and THEN be happy, but it is the journey towards the goal that is the essential - this is what gives us satisfaction and sense of accomplishment. Once you get to your goal, the new house or the baby you will have other issues and problems that need to be solved. So it is a never ending chase.
Another thing that she mentions in the book is that work is very important for our life, it gives the "atmosphere of growth, social contact, fun, a sense of purpose, self-esteem, recognition."
So true - and one that I really understand now that I am at home with my baby, it is so important to get out there in the real world and interact with other people, to get some intellectual stimuli and so on.
Just read on twitter today that mum´s are typically the most active on Social Media - so I definitely recognize that ;)
At the end, something else I found in a Norwegian newspaper, not sure where the origin is, I just noted down what I thought was good to remember:
How to be happy
Be grateful for what you have. Be optimistic. Don’t over analyze, if you do - distract yourself. Be a good person. Work on your relationships. Get involved in stuff. Remember the good things that has happened to you. Have goals. Make strategies. Forgive, forget and move on. Spend time alone without distractions. Think. Take care of your body. Learn something new. Be present in the moment.
And for more wise words - check out my Pinterest board where I have collected many nice ones - can´t get enough ;)
I think what most amazes me about this contry is the big contrasts, rich and poor, polished and shabby, fake and genuine. I feel homesick today, and longing for something fresh and natural - rain, mountains, nature, wild gardens, my friends and family back home.
Shiny happy people?
We are here going through the motions, living the good life in many ways, and I am grateful, there are so many places that I am glad I didn´t have to go to because of my husbands work. Sometimes the melancoly just sets in and I wish I was somewhere else.
It goes up and down, round and round
We went to the beach in the weekend, it was great, so different from the city, it felt like we were travelling somewhere in asia or latin-america :) So one really good thing about being here is that you can experience different worlds in short distances, and we can choose what we want to be a part of.
Escape to a different world
I do appreciate the contrasts as it makes me reflect on my attitudes and values, I have become a lot more interested in economics and are trying to learn more about the political system here.
Different from home
This is of course the beauty of travelling and living abroad, you are out of your own element and have to make sense of the world around you in a new way - you don´t know the codes and you see things as a mix of from the outside and from the inside. It is liberating in one way and frustrating in another!
The title was what the movie I watched on Saturday promised to explain so we were intrigued and watched it - specially since they promised the answer as well! That was a tall order I thought.
The movie was called "I am" as that was one of the answers to the question the filmmaker made to a lot of people "what´s wrong with the world today?". Basically most of us are the problem, the way we live is not sustainable, we take more than we need, we have a society here in the west based on greed. It is not nice.
Coming from the little safe world of Scandinavia where everybody have it more or less OK and there is not so much poverty it is a bit of a change moving to America where you see the differences much more. It looks like a poor third world country in some areas and then you have extreme riches and massive houses not far away. It is also in a way accepted that this is the way it is, I have noticed that I am starting to get used to seeing only black and latinos taking the bus and walking by the highway while all the white people drive their massive cars to their fenced in gated communities where everything is picture perfect Stepford wifey style houses and gardens.
The movie talks about what motivates us and what makes us happy - a question that I have been thinking a lot about lately - as I now feel pretty much on the top of the Maslows pyramid of needs. I have achieved everything I want in life so far and are able to develop further myself in what I am interested in, studying, languages, travelling while taking care of my little daughter. Despite of this I don´t walk around in exhilarating happiness with bounce in my step everyday. I am even skinny by nature so that would in most women's worlds apparently be the sole way to happiness and no more sorrows whatsoever. Don´t get me wrong, I am not unhappy, I am just at the stage of "happy ever after" and - what now? I am not done, and still have desires and wants.
The guy in the film did the American dream, got successful in the movie industry and earned a lot of money and bought big houses and expensive cars. But still felt there were something missing with the meaning of life. So he set out to find it by asking different scientists, writers and famous people about this.
One main thing the movie states is that we don't become more happy by having more money or things once the basic needs are covered.
Oh, it's a mystery to me. We have a greed with which we have agreed. And you think you have to want more than you need. Until you have it all you won't be free ...
Then they talk about in the film that the essential nature of humans is actually both to cooperate and to compete, not only what Darwin is known for mainly "the survival of the fittest" - I think that is very highly focus on that here in America. You have to be the best at what you do. I heard a Norwegian that lived in New York reacted on a mom that shouted to her kid running and playing in the park "don´t be a follower - be a leader!" To a kid that is playing! To a Norwegian that is very weird way of behaving, in Norway we don´t even have grades in school until they are around 13 to avoid having this competitiveness in school.
We have it in our nature that we get elevated and our body reacts with good feelings when we help others and feel compassion, all the strong feelings that can come from a major event like September 11 actually affects electronic equipment that generates numbers automatically! Sounds weird but their point was that we send out signals with our body that affect others around us - I can understand that when it comes to attraction etc at least.
They say in the movie (in a slightly Hippie way) that everything is connected, we affect each other with our actions, our attitudes, and if we want to change the world we of course have to start with ourselves and if many enough do the little things it actually affects the society around us. "The sea is only drops of water that have come together." - Desmond Tutu
This song was also played in the movie - a new favourite:
There ain't no reason things are this way.
Its how they always been and they intend to stay.
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.
Preachers on the podium speakin' to saints..
Paupers on the sidewalk beggin' for change,
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name.
I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same,
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing,
You can spend your whole life workin' for something
Just to have it taken away.
People walk around pushing back their debts,
Wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets,
Talking 'bout nothing, not thinking 'bout death,
Every little heartbeat, every little breath.
People walk a tight rope on a razors edge
Carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons.
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen
Or a thought or a word or a sentence.
There Ain't no reason things are this way.
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I don't know why I say the things I say, but I say them anyway.
But love will come set me free
Love will come set me free,I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes.
Prison walls still standing tall,
Some things never change at all.
Keep on buildin' prisons, gonna fill them all,
Keep on buildin' bombs, gonna drop them all.
The wind blows wild and I may move,
The politicians lie and I am not fooled.
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth.
The air on my skin and the world under my toes,
Slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes,
Chaos and commotion wherever I go, love I try to follow.
Love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes.
There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.
So - the film was thought provoking in a way - we all know this stuff, but it is nice to be reminded, it is a bit cheesy love & peace like, but still OK to watch.
I will try to remind myself that I don´t have to want more than I need, that the way I act matters, even the small things, and that we need to be good to each other and work against what is wrong and towards what is right for everybody - which ultimately will benefit ourselves.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Gandhi
One final thoguht - if people were not so poor here in America you wouldn´t have to be so afraid of your family and property and wouldn't need so much guns and fences..
Thought this quote was good for what I currently are struggling with: Time. We never have enough time. It is always something we didn't manage to do because of lack of time. However the thing is that we will never get more time, it is how we use the hours in the day that matters.
There are so many nice quotes out there that try to tell us how to think and live our life, but it is really hard to follow all these wise words and be the person we want to be - why is that? Why do we always find a excuse?
"Time is enough for those who use it"
"Each task takes the time you have available"
No matter how many times I have thought that when I have more time - then I'll do all the things that I feel guilty of not doing now. The problem is that that time never actually comes. At the moment when I am on maternity leave I do have the time - and I still don't manage to use it the way I want. I can also sleep pretty much as long as I want as my baby sleeps well - however I am still tired when I get up. Imagine that. All those days I struggled to get up and get to work and got home tired without the energy to do housework - and just dreamed of this time when I would be so happy and have so much sleep and time. Well - as you understand, I am still tired in the mornings and housework is still boring and being postponed as much as possible.
It is so strange that we get more done when we have more to do, how different a day or even an hour can be if you are efficient and in the mood. I think many of us love to read in magazines about how to become more efficient and how to have a less cluttered home etc, when it really isn't so complicated - a little bit of structure in your day goes a long way, and then you basically just have to do it. No postponing or procrastinating, no excuses, we just have to be strict with ourselves and get things done. It feels great afterwards, you feel a sense of achievement, get confidence and feel good about yourself, until next time when you just can't be bothered.. and we are back to start. Get motivated - and just get on with it - it doesn't go away.
Another thing that is driving me a bit crazy at the moment is that how we constantly seek something else than what we got. We will never be 100% happy I think, only in small glints when we have the ability to stop and say - all is good! We will always struggle to get more thing, to do more things with our life - and this is the way the world goes forward. This quote says a lot I think:
"We travel,
some of us forever,
to seek other states,
other lives,
other souls."
Anais Nin
But how do you know when to say stop? When is the limit for what you can expect? If you have achieved everything you wanted in life - but then you want to rock the boat and break out of all the familiar things and on the way disrupt others life on your way? Is that good? Is the fact that you are not happy something within yourself or is it the people around your's fault? How do you make that distinction?
I am thinking especially about divorces and so on - suddenly I experience people around me breaking up their marriages, kids, house and all - it is really sad and I can't help but wonder if it is this constant search for something else, something better that makes it happen. Relationships just gets more complicated the older you get. Nothing is straight forward and easy - the right from the wrongs can be difficult to see sometimes.
When do you know that the life you have now is not good enough? How do you know it will get any better? Love and passion are strong feelings and can't be ignored, but they can be controlled to a certain point, then again that might not be too healthy. I just don't know. You only live once, and are responsible for your own happiness, nobody else can tell you how to live your life. We have to make our choices and take the consequences we get.
I recently finished reading Anais Nin's book about Henry and June, a very passionate book about Anais and her lovers. She is hedonistic in that sense of taking what she wants of love and trying to live her life based on her passion and urges without letting the normal conventions of marriage and monogamy keeping her down.
It seems 'easy' but then again she is not without guilt and struggling with her actions and feelings, and what are the reasons behind how she behaves?
In many cases the way we act derives from childhood, isn't it incredible how much that shapes your life? From how your love life is to if you become a criminal or not. People who have eating disorders or OCD tend to have some things in their background shaping their behavior. It is scary - especially now that I am a parent myself, how my actions will affect my little girl in her future.
Yesterday I was visiting my parents, my father is a very no nonsense kind of guy, and I think that is good, sometimes we use too much time worrying and dwelling on things, instead of just getting on with things. If I as a mother let my daughter get worried and scared of small things she will be - maybe more than what she needs. I want her to be a confident and social strong person, and the only way to do that is to let her try out things. Our confidence grows when we do things we don't really dare, and our world gets bigger if we let it. I want her to be a strong woman that doesn't have to take of her clothes to get noticed and feel valued. I hope she will be wise and have self-respect and a good self-esteem and I will do my best to give her what she needs.
Oh how the mind wanders :) So to conclude? Well, we'll never have more time than what we have, it is what we do with our time that matters. Our life is what we make of it, we are ourselves responsible for our happiness but it get somewhat shaped by our background and environment - and basically:
Til dere som tenker at likestilling vil si at kvinner skal være som menn - hva er da poenget med kvotering? Hele poenget med at det skal være en blanding av kvinner og menn er jo nettopp at vi er forskjellige, vi ser ting på forskjellige måter, vi har ulike egenskaper i kraft av vårt kjønn. Vi skal bruke disse egenskapene til det felles beste - ingen nyskapning skjer når alle tenker likt! Dette er bakgrunnen for bedrifter som ønsker fokus på både likestilling og at man skal ha ansatte fra ulike kulturer. Det må være lov for kvinner å være interessert i å bake og ha det fint rundt seg uten at man dermed motarbeider feminisme, å være feminin er ikke å være i mot likestilling.
Jeg for min del fikk en aha opplevelse da jeg var på et kurs i regi av jobben om kvinner i arbeidslivet. Tidligere var det jo gjerne slik at kvinner måtte oppføre seg som menn for å kunne klatre i jobben, de var tøffe og harde Thatcher damer. Kledde seg som menn og snakket som menn. Dette virker jo egentlig mot sin hensikt, hva er da poenget med kvinner i ledelsen om de likevel oppfører seg som menn?
Kvinner er typisk sterke på samarbeid og er gode med kommunikasjon, empati og forstår følelser, man presser ikke gjennom ting, men man samarbeider og kommer frem til et gjensidig ønske om å utrette noe. Samfunnet nå er også et mer kunnskaps og informasjonsbasert samfunn, nettverk erstatter hierakiene og dermed er de typiske feminine verdiene viktigere - både for menn og kvinner.
For meg ble disse kunnskapene frigjørende, jeg hadde til da hatt en ganske 'maskulin' kvinnelig sjef og tenkte at det var tydligvis slik det måtte gjøres for å bli sjef i dette firmaet, og hadde tenkt at jeg var for snill og lite tøff. Etter denne dagen følte jeg derimot at det var nettopp på grunn av mine 'myke' verdier jeg faktisk var god, jeg er god til å snakke med mine kollegaer, skape et godt miljø, har empati og forståelse, det er ikke dermed sagt at jeg godtar at folk ikke gjør jobben sin, men jeg vil helst at folk skal ha lyst å gjøre jobben sin, ikke på grunn av at jeg sier hva de skal gjøre. Jeg fikk til og med en tilbakemelding fra samme sjef om at jeg jeg kan være tøff men på en smidig måte og det er jo forsåvidt greit :)
Forøvrig har jeg ikke turt å skrive at jeg er femininst i bio'en min på tvitter nettopp på grunn av alle de negative stigmaene knyttet opp mot dette ordet, for eksempel at man automatisk er mannehatende Ottar dame om man er feminist. Min forståelse av ordet er positiv - men føler kanskje jeg ikke vet nok om det eller har gjort meg fortjent til å kunne definere meg som feminist, derfor har jeg skrevet at jeg er opptatt av det - og ønsker å lære mer, derfor har jeg nå gått til innkjøp av den ganske tykke boken til Simon de Beauvoir - Det annet kjønn, så skal lære meg mer slik at jeg kan få en bedre forståelse!
Det er mange meninger og mye mer som kunne vært sagt om dette temaet men ville bare få fram et par poeng og til slutt si at jeg har det fantastisk bra som kvinne i Norge - har fått utdannelse, spennende jobb og har en mann som tar mer enn sin del av husarbeidet, takk til alle kvinner og menn før min tid som har gjort det mulig for meg å ha det så bra som jeg har det i dag! :)
From my previous experiences living abroad I have my diaries, and it
was drama and stuff happening all the time. It might have to do with me
just becoming single after a seven year relationship but also the fact
that when you are abroad you are more open to new people and new
experiences. I really had so many things that happened during my years
abroad that has changed me and has affected how I live today. I would
never have the job I have if I didn't have some sort of international
experience and got mature by the way you do when you see yourself and
your society from the outside. I would never have married the amazing
man I did if we didn't happen to meet in that little town in the UK. It
is scary to think how much in our life is due to happy incidents -
serendipity!
Here are some thoughts from an Englishman in Norway - it explains pretty well the differences between the two countries. I thought we had a more similar culture than we actually had, even if it was an easy country to live abroad in. It was a bigger challenges to live in Hungary, I was working late nights in a stressful job and with a totally unknown language. I will never forget the time that me and my Turkish friend were trying to mime 'egg' in a grocery shop - believe me, not easy! I think what I struggled most with in Budapest was that I didn't know what was going on around me, suddenly there was a big demonstration or a festival in the town centre and I had no idea, there were a English newsletter but that didn't capture many things, only general expat stuff.
The language thing will be easier now that we are moving to the US, my husband got transferred with work, he has gotten his dream job so it is very nice for him! I will just be a 'desperate housewife' for one more year, even if I could work if I wanted to, we work for the same international company that has many offices in Houston, but we want to see how we like it, and when I just take an extended leave with my job we can come back easier.
We will also keep the house in Norway, we have now lived here since 2006 and I don't know where the time went! It goes so quickly, OK we have bought and renovated a house, gotten married, travelled and had a baby - pretty decent I guess, and of course both of us have had good jobs that we have enjoyed and gotten promoted in. Can't complain really - the life is pretty good at the moment. I really just need to focus on that and try to enjoy the moment more, and that is something that I know I will do when we move abroad - have more focus on experiences and enjoy life!
One thing that I have been getting really into these days are various social media, from Tumblr, Path, Twitter to the newest fun thing - Pinterest! It is brilliant as now I am using various computers and are planning to buy a new one so all my favorite pictures and links can be stored there, it is a online bookmark and folder tool that is shared with others and you get inspiration from what others pin as well. I thought that it seemed quite unnecessary at first as I have plenty of accounts now and feel like my online life is soon living its own life! I've had a clean up and hope I have somewhat control, as mentioned before I like to keep my life a bit separate for different purposes.
So my Twitter account is linked to my Pinterest account now, I posted a tweet today about an interesting article that I found on Pinterest - it explains why it is so popular even if we have all these other Social Media to keep us occupied, has something to do with that we show who we want to be - not who we are trying to be perceived as via Facebook or Twitter.
Inspired of these articles below and my increasing restlessness as a stay-at-home-mum I will start filling my days more strategically.
I started of my maternity leave with a long list of things I wanted to get done but have not managed to do as much as I wanted, and it is not because I don't get enough sleep or the baby is difficult, it is just laziness I am afraid.. she sleeps easily a large part of the day, my husband does more than his share of the housework and takes care of her when he is home. I don't go to the gym (except those 2 times) I don't have an excessive social life so basically I have enough time on my hands to get a lot of things accomplished!
I did put up my larger goals earlier, and I think I will manage them, but I need to get into the mode of studying again if I am going to do an MBA in my year off. I wanted to do more general self-education so I got a book about Sociology, just looked briefly in it until now. However today - I put it into my calendar, at 10 o'clock I sat down and read and took notes for 1,5 hours! Felt good. The funny thing is that of course it was not hard at all.
I tend to spend too much time online wasting my time basically, I need to manage my time better. I have been getting frustrated and have had too much time to worry about silly stuff that doesn't really matter. So I need to fill my days and my mind with interesting stuff! Looking back to when I was working full time I don't remember having time to worry so much, I just got on with things and did what needs to be done.
And this one is about a way of managing your time, an alternative/addition to the To-Do lists, basically if you want to get things done you have to committ to them and put them in your calendar with how long time you need to complete them.
So basically my message to myself "Dear Diary" is to stop procrastination and get busy!
I have been getting more and more fed up with the tabloid newspapers in this country, they contain nothing interesting and I think it is not just me who have changed. I spend a lot of my time online but get my news from other sources, I almost don't have to watch tv or read the news when I am following the right people on Twitter I've noticed. If I want to be updated on design, interior, art, graphics and so on I use blogs or the new platforms for sharing photos like Tumblr or Pinterest etc. In addition I buy far too many glossy magazines.
I thought it was interesting what I read in Aftenposten this weekend:
Optimist på medienes vegne
Og mens Google håver inn enorme summer på nettannonser, sliter mediehusene tungt med å tjene penger på nett. Brittin har selv tidligere jobbet i avis og sier han skjønner hvor skoen trykker.
- Alt dette er nytt, og det er nok tøft nå. Men på lengre sikt er jeg optimist. Jeg tror Internett vil være en stor mulighet for mediene. Kvalitetsjournalistikk vil overleve. Internett gjør at hvem som helst kan publisere, mediene må finne det som gjør dem unike, sier Brittin.
Han vil ikke gå med på at Googles suksess kan bli medienes bane.
- Google hjelper til med å spre nyhetene, det klikkes 4 milliarder ganger på mediesaker via Googles tjenester hver måned. Vi har også tjenester som kan hjelpe mediene å få etablert betalingstjenester, og annonseverktøy.
Basically that internet is giving everybody the opportunity to be their own publisher, we can create our own newspapers - check out Paper.li this can be connected to your twitter account and you get the news you want from the people or media you follow in a nice newspaper format! Of course google also has their igoogle page where you can put your favorite content up, and you have Flipboard, brilliant app for ipad for reading magazines etc. Internet has changed - the newspapers just need to understand this and find their niches and keep up the game. We still want good journalism and read good stories, but the way it is being done at the moment is not working, I still want to read paper newspapers for my lazy breakfasts and enjoying a latte in a cafe, but if they are going to compete with my ipad they can't get stuck in the old times and use their pages on complaining that people have changed their habits.
I thought this quote from Terence Conran is good and applies in many areas:
I have discovered Tumblr and made myself a little corner there. Love it! So easy to find inspiration and lovely pictures.
Another thing that my sister just told me about was Stumbleupon, a great way of finding new things online.
Brainpickings is also a great source for inspiration, love these suggestions for books and the reasons behind it:
"Every once in a while, we all get burned out. Sometimes, charred. And
while a healthy dose of cynicism and skepticism may help us get by, it’s
in those times that we need nothing more than to embrace life’s promise
of positivity with open arms. Here are seven wonderful books that help
do just that with an arsenal ranging from the light visceral stimulation
of optimistic design to the serious neuroscience findings about our
proclivity for the positive."
